18 June 2009

"This week the trend..."

"And this week the trend
Was to crash and burn and then return again
To practice the life that I pretend
Povides enough to get me through the weekend.
And this week the trend
Was to backstab every single one of my friends
And leave a voicemail message trying to make amends
All the while hoping things work out in the end...."

Hurray for Relient K! Their song "High of 75" would do a good job describing this week too. The weather has been crazy: sunny, rainy, cloudy, humid, dry, cold, warm, very warm....the whole range....a pretty good reflection of my ever-quickly changing moods this week. They say a person can't control how they feel. I would disagree, but I will say one thing - you have to want to control them. I admit, I can really enjoy "wallowing" in my frustration, or my self-pity, or my emotionally depressed state. The weather doesn't help me much either; I usually am more depressed with bad weather than sunny. So waking up this morning to rain didn't really help my mood, having gone to bed after a long day feeling tired, discontent, and frustrated with myself over the way the evening had ended. Not advisable. It just made me have a restless sleep and wake up even more tired, with my mood settled down into general mopey-ness.
Typical me: when I am happy, I get distracted easily and nothing gets done. Same when I'm tired. But most other moods lead to an extraordinary amount of productivity. So of course, drowning my thoughts in work meant I got alot done more today! lol. I finally cleaned up my room, took out the trash (my most procastinated chore), and made my bed (for the first time this week). And today in the lab - two tests that actually worked and gave good results - instead two deflatingly unsuccessful ones. Sure enough, by mid-day my mood had improved and apparently the weather had too, since it was no longer pouring buckets and thunderstorming. I'll settle for the clouds ;-) And my moods? Well, like I said, a person has to want to control their feelings. So it took alot more than just distracting myself with work to bring me back to where I am now: not absolutely big-smile happy, but well......like the clouds. Halfway in between. On the borderline to sunshine or rain again. Potential for either. So the challenge now is to let the wind blow my clouds away, metaphorically speaking....which recalls to mind these lyrics, which I shall close with:

"You give me hope,
And hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart,
And when You do
You make it light"


No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.